It’s lonely in the shadows
Do you remember being told as a young girl not to be selfish? To stay humble and not to brag? Or as a boy, being told not to cry or show emotion?
It’s easy to tell our children not to conform to stereotypes but sometimes they’re so ingrained in us that’s it’s difficult not to.
At the end of the day, change starts with us. Until we change the conversations we have with ourselves and our children, nothing will change and we’ll be fighting the same fight a decade from now.
One thing we often tell our children is to “be brave”. But how often do we, as adults, display bravery? How often do we show up, even when things are hard? Bravery doesn’t mean being a martyr. It means embracing our weaknesses and doing whatever we can to get stronger. Even the strongest human on Earth was once weak. But he (or she) chose to show up. To be brave. To change.
What would you change if you were brave enough?
Where do you see yourself in two, five, or ten years? What goals have you set? What example do you want to set for your children? What do you need to change NOW to achieve it?
We all want to teach our kids to be strong and emotionally stable people but if we don’t embrace those characteristics ourselves, how can we expect them to? Strong doesn’t mean being able to lift 50kg. Strong means showing up for yourself, making a commitment to better yourself, so that you can be physically and emotionally available to those who need you the most.
I’ve learnt that it’s ok to be selfish – it’s good to be selfish! Being selfish means you grow (not sideways, like I did last week with my sugar binge), but taking the time I need to make myself better and stronger and to put my own needs first, without feeling guilty.
We’re under enough pressure as it is to do more – at work, in social settings, at home – but there’s not enough pressure for us to BE more. And that’s the kind of pressure we should be putting on our children – to show emotion, to be selfish, and to build their strength, physically and emotionally. No one else will do it for them.
Don’t let your batteries run empty. Don’t make yourself smaller than you are. Don’t hide in the shadows. Show up and be selfish. It’s your time to shine.
Contact me if you need an accountability partner to help you find your strength. I’m excited to see you grow.