What others think of you is non of your business

I’ve battled with this one for a long time. I’ve always thought that what others think of me ISmy business because it can affect my business.
If I pissed someone off or if they didn’t enjoy one of my classes, there’s a good chance they’d tell their friends and family – and we all know that bad news spreads a lot quicker than good news! And that’s not good for business.
So, of course I worry what other people thinks of me and what they’re saying about me. I don’t want anyone to think I was a bad person – because I’m not – especially if I’m not there to defend myself or prove otherwise.
I recently lost my cycling classes at the gym because there weren’t enough bums on bikes. My regulars loved my classes but there were not enough people who liked me or my style to meet the gym’s quota. So I quit. And that’s ok.
It’s ok that I gave up spinning because it:
  1. Allowed me to focus on my own cycling, which I adore, rather than seeing it as a job;
  2. It freed up my time – both travelling time and teaching time – to open slots for new coaching and Pilates clients, which was more aligned to my goal of being my own boss and not working for someone else
So I had to reframe my mindset. Yes, I was sad that I was not attracting enough people to my spinning class. But clearly that’s not what I was supposed to be doing. Thanks for the sign, Universe. Losing those classes have taken me one step closer to my goal – and the happiness that brings me outweighs the sadness.
I know that it’s impossible to please everyone and that there’ll always be someone who doesn’t like me or the way I do things. But I have to get better at accepting that and turning my focus to those who DOlike me and my training and coaching style. They’re the people who are worthy of my thoughts, time, and energy. For the others, there’s not much I can do to change their attitude or perception of me, so it’s not worth the stress of trying.
I’m looking for ways around this. I’ve started offering discovery calls and meetings with potential life coaching clients, and encourage new Pilates clients to meet with me for coffee before deciding if they want to train with me. It’s important that we’re a good fit because we’re going to be in each other’s space, talking about very personal and sensitive things. We have to be able to trust each other and be comfortable in each other’s company.
Offering online Pilates classes has exposed me to criticism from the entire world. My stomach turns when I log on to see how many times my videos have been viewed or if I’ve received a negative comment. I get disheartened when no one has liked them or posted a review – what are they thinking? What’s wrong with me? I remind myself that there might be other reasons why they’re not commenting and liking that have nothing to do with me. I close my laptop and move on. It doesn’t help to worry about what others think. It takes away from my productivity, creativity, and happiness and nothing is worth that.
What other people think of me is none of my business. But it’s also not my business – or anyone else’s – to think badly about someone else’s journey.
Let’s forgive more and judge less. We’re all battling our own demons and don’t need the criticism of others to remind us of our failures and shortcomings. Let’s build each other up and support each other when we need it most.
I’m back into the swing of things – my online and physical studios are back to normal operating hours and I’m taking bookings for life coaching discovery calls and coffee 🙂
If you have any questions, email me at chris@energisedthroughpilates.co.za.
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