Oh my word, I haven’t written in ages…
This is the story and if you have the time read it until the end as it is important for all of us!
I think my last blog was in October or November.
Very much the opposite of what I learned to do… Show up every single day, don’t hide, put a time limit on a pity party and then power on as if the world is your oyster. By the way, I have never under stood that because an oyster is a very restrictive place and I want to spread my wings and fly all over.
But at this stage, I couldn’t even think of the oyster never mind the world. I was consumed with money worries, I didn’t want to let people down and disappoint anyone.
I was working my butt off in a self-sabotaging destructive way. I was heading for burnout.
Don’t get me wrong I love what I do with my whole being and wouldn’t change it for anything, but after all I still have to live and pay bills.
So… I made some adult choices, asked for help and took help where it was offered.
Let’s look at this sentence for a second.
I had to own my problem and also admit that I needed help and actually happily took the help.
I had to admit to myself that this was not a sign of failure to the outside world but an act of maturity and responsibility. I didn’t have to bow my head in shame but realised that I could hold my head up high, look back at what I had achieved and that it was time to change course.
I had to change course rather quickly because I felt utterly burned out.
I needed a holiday. I needed a holiday from myself.
The choices had been made and now what?
I had created a to-do-list about 100m long, to make myself feel adequate and productive again. After all, you must be busy to be successful.
Common logical thought: busy equals successful, busier means super successful!
Nothing could be further from the truth!
Busy, stupidly busy, will end up in burnout and eventually in ill-health!
My brain and body needed a holiday from the constant pushing, living up to other people’s expectations, feeling guilty for not having done enough, from the judgement of not working correctly, after all, if I would do enough then I would have loads of money and my financial anxiety would be gone!
Ok…. fairy tale over!!!!
We have to work smart not silly. Also working smart doesn’t mean that there won’t be any stress or an overload of work, but a good fair amount of the time we should be working productively and with purpose to move forward. There should be a goal, with its sub-goals, insight.
Positive stress can be useful but be careful. Don’t fall into ill coping mechanisms to handle bad stress.
We all need time out and chosen time out, not when our bodies decide that they are at breaking point and we fall over with poor health.
I was riding forward but sitting the wrong way about in the saddle.
I couldn’t see where I was going and certainly couldn’t see the holes and hurdles which my horse( in my case it is a bike lol) couldn’t master as I was not directing it. I had no direct course.
But!!!! I had a to-do-list!
‘That should do it Christiane’ I said to myself.
I stuffed the whole holiday full of all the things I thought I needed to be done and then by the 2nd of January 2020 I’d be on top of everything and ‘wow’ off we are for a successful new year!
The only thing what would have been guaranteed was that I would have started the new year tired and with resentment for my business. A downward spiral.
I had to have a serious conversation with myself!
What would I tell my coaching clients?
Why is it so difficult to apply the same rules to oneself?
Because we are stubborn and working on oneself is much harder than working with others.
We know that when we give advice to others that they are not a failure just because they need help or advice. Of course not, we often admire them for having the wisdom and maturity to evaluate their situation and act responsibly upon it.
But… For ourselves, we see it often as a sign of weakness and failure!
Ok, here is the truth…
Every single one of the most successful people you know failed at least once, has a mentor or coach to guide and help, learns from their mistakes and dusts themselves off and gets back up with more power and strength…
Why? Because clearly defined goals and priorities guide you when the going gets rough!
Your self-image affects the way you act, feel and achieve!
So, hold your head up high, smile and visualise daily what you want to achieve.
All my Love Christiane